My Silly Parents, Goals and Falling Off The Grid

As stated in my last post, I'm headed off for vacation next week. Actually, I'm already off. I'm writing this from my buddies apartment in Toronto. This may get a little scattered, as I'm a bit tired from 9 hours of driving the past two days, and we're heading out soon anyway. When I stopped home last night, I relaxed in the living room after dinner with my mom and sister. I was pecking away at my computer, and my mom asked me what I was up to. I replied that I was responding to a comment on my blog "ya know...the one you don't read". She laughed, and my sister suggested I read her the post where I make fun of her a bit. I did, and she was amused, however objected to a couple facts, which led to this little back and forth:
"I did not say that" - Mom
"Uhhh, you did" - Me
"That conversation never took place" - Mom
"Yes it most certainly did" - Me
"HAHAHA" - Sister
"Why didn't you object sooner" - Me
"I don't do blogs" - Mom
So there. That conversation, just as the previous one, took place. I don't want to solely pick on my mom, because my dad wasn't without his highlights this weekend. For some reason, as he's added some years, he's become an over explainer. He's always been an over organizer, however a simple conversation about homemade iced tea will now lead to an explanation of how it is made, where each ingredient was purchased (Wegmans for those interested), and why they weren't purchased elsewhere (BJs, Topps, Sams in this case). I also needed to "teach them how to buy and replace ink cartridges for the new printer". Next year, instead of buying them a nice Christmas gift, I'm just going to get myself a bunch of Advil. All that said, it does bear repeating, that even at 60, my parents kick ass (sorry about the language). Over the next week, we'll be waterskiing, tubing, golfing, playing tennis (if tennising was a word, that would have fit so well there) and sharing a few cocktails (not out of the same glass, ya know, each have out own but share the moment). Not many people can say their parents are interested in that stuff at 60 years old...maybe it kind of makes up for the printer.

Two weeks back, after donations for Donate For Life stalled a bit, I throughout a challenge to Facebook Nation. If I get up to $1000 (total goal is $2620) by the end of the month, I will enter one of those races where you have to wear costumes, and I'll dress as a super hero of the donators choosing. I thought it had a chance, but with over a week left, we're at that goal. So now I get to dress like an idiot and run around, but it will certainly be well worth it. So keep those donations coming. Every dollar matters as every single bit goes 100% to research.. Anyone who donates by the end of the month will get to vote in what the costume will be (and Borat in his speedo is not a super hero).

In about 15 hours, I'll be "off the grid" for the next week. There isn't great cell service on the lake, and roaming up here is a bit pricey anyways. From a business standpoint that sort of disconnection can be disconcerting, but things are going pretty well, and it will be nice to recharge a bit heading into August (which is about when my industry gets pretty busy). The workout goal is not to go backwards. I got in some good runs this week (about 12 miles so far), did a fairly crowded 5K last thursday and played 2 hours of soccer Saturday (which I'm counting as 3-4 miles...maybe more because I was exhausted and sore for two days). While there's no weights up there, I'm sure I'll be able to squeeze in two or three runs to at least keep the muscles moving. Upon my return my "official calendar" starts

That's all for the month. Some good stuff is coming up from my buddy Andy, and my friend Meg, in addition to my normal musings.

Enjoy the week/weekend

Matt
twitter.com/mstendardi

The Cost Of Clerical Disorganization

If you asked me a month ago, "How do you think that week before you leave for vacation will go?", my response would have been very simple, "Not good". For some reason, the week before I leave for my families annual trip up north is always a comedy of errors (well at least a string of errors, most aren't all that funny). Work usually gets busier than normal, not so much from a business being great, but lots of paperwork to shuffle through; and everything in my personal life feels like its put on some sort of rushed clock. This particular week has had an extra dose of annoyance due to the fact I misplaced my boating license, and due to requirement changes, had to completely redue the course and test. Therefore, instead of working out, catching up (or getting ahead on work), and preparing for vacation, I spent the last two nights an hour north of my place taking a boating safety course. Honestly, if one more thing goes askew this week, I may be headed for a Jessie Spano level breakdown.

All that said, I like to look for silver linings, and after my frustrations with this current week dissipate, I will look at this boating safety course as one of the most hilariously ridiculous things I've ever had to attend. Let me hit you all with some highlights:

-For starters, let's just say the instructors weren't exactly educational savants. I hesistate to give them any grief, because they were after all volunteers, however, I'd suggest they not constantly throw their arms in the air and say "What's up with that?" after every example picture of an unsafe boating practice.

-One thing that became abundandly clear in this class, is that adults make absolutely horrible students. I should already known this after trying to teach my parents how to use a wireless printer, but now it is fully engrained. Even more annoying than inanely ridiculous questions, were the middle aged folks who felt the need to raise their hand and offer an additional point "for the benefit of the class". Last I checked, you went to one of these courses because you don't actually have a boating license, which automatically makes you not an expert. Please put your hand down and be quiet...for the benefit of the class.

-The annoying little cousin to the class know it all, is the person who has a joke for every single point made in the class. I get it, believe me, nobody loves more attention and enjoyes horsing around more than I do. That said, more often than not, I hope I know what settings are appropriate for it, and a four hour class of 60 people is not that setting. If your funny enough that a room of 60 people have to hear your hilarious material, you should be a stand up comedian. I've been to enough open mic nights (as a member of the crowd) to know that most people are horrendous at stand up comedy. The four people at this class were no exception (especially the dude that repeated the same joke five time, "now that guy shouldn't be allowed to drive a bicycle"...ha ha ha, please shut up). Quick note-I was very much this annoying little cousin in high school. To my former teachers, I'm so sorry. This is nearly a tearful apology.

-The last considerable point of contention (and may be a little bit of a stuck up one) is that apparently adults have completely forgotten what appropriate class attire in. I'm not saying that you should dress like you're going to court, or a job interview, but doesn't the fact that the word "class" is in the title of what you're attending, imply you should wear sleeves? One guy was even in violation of my rules for proper gym attire (while looking like he hadn't seen a gym since the time of the Saved By The Bell reference I had).

-I'll depart on one quick humorous note of personal embarrassment. At the beginning of the first class, the instructor did a quick survey of the classes experience. When he asked "has anyone had a boating license or safety certificate before?", I was the only person who raised my hand...which left the entire class thinking I had it revoked for a DUI. Consider personal embarrassment an added cost to the inconvenience of my disorganization.

That's all for today. I'll be back tomorrow with a training update and some links. Hopefully there will be one or two guest blogs that get put up during my vacation.

Take care,

Matt
twitter.com/mstendardi

I'm Back, My Mom Doesn't Read Blogs, and Links

Well today went considerably better. I ate better, drank plenty of water, and had myself a great run this evening. Overall I legged out 6.5 miles in under 55 minutes. Not setting the world on fire, but it was a comfortable pace, and I was just happy that yesterdays crappy workout was most likely a solitary bad day. As anyone on facebook knows, today was quite a hot one though. When I went out to my car around 7:30, I thought to myself, "Wow, it's perfect out". Immediately after that I though, "Ohhh no, its still early, its gonna be brutal later"...and brutal it was. That said, I caution those of you who like to complain and post pictures of your cars thermometer on facebook, that winter is around the corner. You can't have it both ways. As much as I love skiing, I'll take the summer. I get to go boating, lounge on the beach, play golf, play tennis, and as for the aforementioned facebook, beach pictures often accompany the pics of your cars dashboard (if you know what I'm sayin'...).

While spending some time with my mom at the wedding this past weekend, we had the following conversation.
"How's the training going for that thing?" - Mom
"You mean the marathon" - Me
"Yeah, that. What's for dinner at this thing?" - Mom
"Pretty good, don't you occasionally drop in on my blog to check up. I have no idea about dinner" - Me
"Nope." - Mom
"Are you serious, I think its pretty good, and I'm not a terrible writer. You might like it" - Me
"I don't do blogs. Did you see The Voice finale?" - Mom
And that was that. So I don't confuse anyone, let me say, my mother is an amazing lady, a fantastic mother, and someone I admire greatly and love very much. But, she is also very direct and produces some classic awkward interactions. Also, as she clearly stated, she "doesn't do blogs". So, for what audience I do have, get ready for a lot more making fun of momma (and as I found out later in the weekend, you can add my dad and grandma to the list as well. I actually have a doozy about grandma all queued up for early next week).

Here's some links to peruse:

-Got a nice little 5K in Morristown Thursday night. Money goes to the New Jersey Battered Women's service. Happy to take part, but really bummed that we still have battered women (c'mon dudes, seriously? When I rule the world, you hit your lady, you fight Anderson Silva)

-Depending on which NFL team you root for, this article is either amusing or depressing. As a Bills fan, I was amused. Even though there were two on the list, at least it was only two. Could have easily been five.

-Love the Yanks, love Jeter, loved the 3000th hit this past weekend. Yes he should have gone to the ASG at least to tip his cap. But can't we just move past it already? (seriously, who cares about this game?)

-Mila Kunis scores some major cool points...to add onto her collection of major hot points.

-Netflix went from being super cheap, to, well, still pretty cheap (if you watch a movie a week).

-Somewhat epic airport security fail (that deserves a massive 'C'MON SON' (warning...dicey language in that one). Especially since I got five minutes of questions on my last business trip for traveling with two computers).

-Mother Nature apparently doesn't give two hoots we are about to go into a second recession.

That's all for today,

Matt
twitter.com/mstendardi

Wedding Weekends, Bad Dancing & Worse Workouts

Sometimes when you're on a roll, you're on a roll. Upon returning from the holiday weekend in Ottawa, the work week was a bit of a struggle. However, this weekend was another great one, and hopefully I can carry that momentum through the week and into what should be another great weekend. I had the pleasure of attending a long time family friends wedding this past Saturday. My sister and mom were there as well, so it was a good weekend with the fam, to go along with two nights of an open bar (after Ottawa though, I enforced Moderation Matt, one of my alter egos, and played DD both nights). I tried my best to get a solid workout in, however between a scaled down hotel fitness center, and an old lady taking an hour to do something I call the "ass out power walk" on the only working treadmill, it was a mediocre workout at best (way too hot to run outside for those wondering). I haven't been to many weddings recently (which will change come the fall when I have a three in four weekend stretch), and I had kinda forgotten how great they are for not just a good time, but unintentional comedy. While this wedding lacked the 'uncomfortably bad speech that everyone is afraid to talk about', it had a fantastic wedding band, which means some fantastically bad white people dancing (I'm in that group, don't worry). As the night progressed, and the guests trips to the bar became more frequent, one thing became apparent, the only thing better than 'middle aged white people dancing' is 'hammered middle aged white people dancing'.

Today I headed back to the gym for what was supposed to be a hard workout. However, after days off Thursday, Friday and Sunday, I just didn't have it. I didn't feel like getting off the couch, and the entire ride to the gym all I could think was, "this is gonna suck, I gotta pee, and white people are really terrible dancers". It didn't help that I had eaten like garbage for three straight days, and, as I found out halfway through the workout, was kind of under-hydrated. They say food is fuel, and I stupidly went out with a somewhat contaminated tank, and got what I deserved (better now than when training really kicks up...lesson learned). So, after a crappy workout, and somewhat frightening dizzy spell, I made a somewhat late trip to the grocery store to stock up on some quality food for the rest of the week. On that note, there is no place that has a wilder collection of people than a grocery store at 10:00pm. You have no idea what kind of people you'll find there (and that includes employees. I worked at a grocery store back in the day, and one of the night cashiers was having an affair with her step father...for reals). This particular trip was highlighted by a 40-some woman in her pajamas saying "OH YEAH" after seeing something she was going to put in her cart (I had to leave the aisle because I was laughing too hard).

I'll be back tomorrow, for hopefully a much better report.

Matt
twitter.com/mstendardi

Running With Sunburn, Late Night TV, and Links

While relaxing at my friend's cottage on Sunday, I figured since we got there after 1, I could forego sunscreen. For those that don't know, I have the genetic makeup of a vampire when it comes to sunlight, and I stupidly earned myself a pretty nice sunburn. While everyone knows this will make your skin more sensitive, most don't know how that would effect you while you run. Let me clear this up. Basically until the sunburn goes away your whole body itches and your skin get super sensitive. Because most males relax in the water with their shirt off, this also makes your nipples considerably more sensitive (are nipples the most useless part of a man's body? I think so, but that's a different story for a different day). So after a couples days of working out, I'm happy to report my sunburn is finally starting to go away, however not without logging quite a few uncomfortable miles.

As stated in my last post, I was quite exhausted on my return from up north. After basically sleeping on and off for 48 hours, I have basically sabotaged my regular sleep schedule for this work week. Not to say this doesn't have advantages, movies like XXX (with Vin Diesel, not a porno) and Cop Out are considerably more enjoyable when you can't get to sleep. If a good movie, like Super Troopers or Bourne Identity comes on? All the better. The disadvantages are somewhat obvious, but at least now I know, if need be, with the assistance of an extra large coffee, I can get through a work day on less than five hours of sleep.

Here's some links to kickstart your work day:

-Seriously, why are we still talking about Charlie Sheen?

-Quickie list of who you should follow on Twitter

-Hopefully these MLBers never took steroids, but really, who knows?

-As if you needed a reason not to screw with bears

-Facebook keeps adding new toys

-If you like funny videos, you will greatly enjoy this

Long Weekend = Long Recovery, and quick thoughts

As stated in my last entry, I went up to Ottawa for a nice little four day weekend. By nice little weekend, I mean the first three days resembled an episode of the Travel Channel show Three Sheets. Throw in tons of red t-shirts, a quick view of the royal couple, a few well timed naps, and some much needed Booster Juice, you have yourself quite a whirlwind 72 hours. It wrapped up at my friend Heather's unbelievably peaceful cottage for some relaxation on a lake, and post dinner tea, while listening to old records. As I told my buddy JP on the ride home Monday, I don't think I could have pieced together a better weekend with better people (although six people asked me various annoying Jersey Shore questions, so I guess there is always room for improvement). One nice, and unexpected, detail of the trip, was that it didn't really break up my training too much. I was due for a rest day or two, as well as some cross-training, so fortunately I was able to squeeze in a round of tennis as well as my first water-ski run of the year (which is a major workout).

All that fun though, equalled being relatively exhausted since Monday morning. So exhausted that I had to take a nap in a McDonalds parking lot on the ride home, a nap once I got home, went to bed before 11, and a nap after work today. Hopefully tomorrow, I'll be nothing if not well rested.

The jump back into training went pretty well. Was able to bang out a few miles, along with some light lifting. On the downside, neither of the three good looking girls that work the front desk were there today. Instead I got the jacked dude with the mohawk who always looks mad that he's not a personal trainer. He doesn't really do anything other than wear a shirt that's two sizes too small, grunt at members, and text while he scans you in. Unfortunately he's probably texting one or more of the cute girls that I'd prefer were working the desk.

Quick thoughts:
-The big news of the day was the Casey Anthony verdict. Guilty or not, its a pathetic statement on society that this woman stands to massively profit off the death of her child.
-For everyone's benefit, a couple of the Kardashians decided to chime in. I wonder if they were this shocked when OJ ran free (their birth father defended him, for those that didn't know).
-I was put through about 5 or 6 minutes of random questions at the border on the way home. Some of which were just ridiculous. Customs agents should have a "shot clock" or 120 seconds when questioning their own citizens...don't give a stupid answer, then WELCOME HOME!
-Canada was a much cheaper destination before the US Dollar went in the toilet. For real, beware on your next trip.

I hope everybody had a fun and safe 4th of July. Thanks to all the troops that continue to fight for our freedoms.

Be back tomorrow,

Matt
twitter.com/mstendardi